![Image of Joy-Cons in a grip on a light green background, surrounded by an N64 and GameCube controller.](https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/KGAF4r3ZtooDjTQAxX2Jka21RDU=/0x0:2040x1360/1310x873/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/71924404/236495_Nintendo_Joy_Con_Joystick_BOTM_AKrales_0110.0.jpg)
Every evening, my kids beg for “Mario,” and I know what that means — watching their old man wrestle with a pair of Nintendo Switch Joy-Con controllers while hopefully saving a princess. It’s not always easy timing tricky jumps in Super Mario 64 and Super Mario Sunshine, especially not when the controls are fighting you.
That’s not a lame dad excuse: We beat both games and we’re on to Super Mario Galaxy now. But I can’t count how many times Joy-Con drift sent my mustachioed plumber plunging to his doom. When my left Joy-Con died, Mario started walking off edges all by himself. Now, my right Joy-Con is a distracted boyfriend meme, its erroneous joystick signals always aiming me the wrong direction. This’ll be my third set of Joy-Cons in…